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Reaching Goals in 2015

January 15, 2015 by Laura Lohr 6 Comments

Obi, after our trail run.
Obi, after our trail run.

Wow! I can’t believe it’s 2015! Mostly, I can’t believe that we’re halfway through January! How did this happen? There’s so many exciting things going on this year. We’ve been busy, busy, busy!

Allie is going into another year on swim team. She moved into the next level in November, which has brought some awesome challenges her way. She is growing in her sport and loves every minute of it! We’ve been so proud of her!

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been working very diligently to get back in shape and trying to accomplish some healthy goals I’ve been working on for some time. Obi (our dog) and I started running a beautiful trail near the house. It’s on the way back home from dropping Allie off at school and it gives me the opportunity to get a few miles in, before the day gets too far ahead. He really enjoys getting out and running. I really enjoy having a running partner! Even if he’s dragging me down the trail most days.

Additionally, I started boot camp again. This boot camp is a different one from before. This one is indoors, which I thought I wouldn’t like, but hasn’t been too terrible. I’m finishing the first week and I have to say—I am so sore, I can hardly move! There is no progress, without some discomfort though. Right?

I’ve made some major changes to my diet and lifestyle that I’m pretty excited about. First, I’ve cut way back on coffee. I was having digestive issues, including acid reflux, when I was drinking more than a cup a day. I’ve switched to herbal tea—a really nice alternative! So far, it has been an easy transition. I still enjoy a cup or two of coffee, yet I’m learning when I’ve had enough.

Second, I’m trying to keep track of the food I put into my mouth—every morsel! It’s a tough habit to get into, nonetheless I am trying! I have a goal of losing one pound a week this year. Last week, I lost 3 pounds, which puts me three weeks ahead! Ha! We’ll see how long I can sustain that. I joined a Facebook group that my college sorority sister encouraged me to join. It’s a group that’s focused on getting healthy. We support each other and weigh in each week. We share recipes and tips. We vent and confess when things aren’t going quite right. We all need support and this group has been so awesome!

Third, I’m trying to eliminate all unnecessary calories. As a result, I’ve completely abstained from alcohol for several months. No extra calories for me. No, sir! I’ve enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would. It is actually very nice!

Lastly, I’m just trying to focus on staying healthy in mind, body, and spirit. I’ve been working very hard on making me the best me I can. I know it sounds cheesy and cliché, but it’s true. There’s so much negativity in this world, nonetheless I don’t need to be a part of that. I can bring positivity into situations that need a little brightness. I have been working on finding the good in situations. I am, by nature, a glass half-full type of gal. I’ve believed through most of my adult life that with expecting the worst, I’m usually pleasantly surprised when things go my way.  That way of thinking hasn’t served me well, however. It’s much more pleasant to not be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m enjoying the moments, when things are good. I’m looking for the lesson, when things go sideways.

My word for 2015 is Fearless—or, FEAR LESS.

While it isn’t the most original word of the year, it definitely suits me well. Over the course of the past few years, I have feared so much. I suffered from anxiety for a few years. I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of what might happen. I was afraid of what people might say, or what they might think. It has taken time and working with a brutally honest mentor, that has opened my eyes to so many things. I don’t have to fear the things I don’t have control over. I can sit quietly and let go of things I can’t control.  When I started letting go, that is when I started noticing the anxiety begin to lift. It was like coming out of a fog and into the sunlight. Life is not perfect and neither am I. I can accept that now. This year, I’m going to fear less—even though I know that sometimes, there will be things out of my control.

What is your word for 2015?

Filed Under: Boot Camp, Family, Health, Mental Health Tagged With: 2015, Fitness, Goals, Health, Healthy Living

Getting Real: 12 Ways I Fought Anxiety (and Won)

August 22, 2014 by Laura Lohr 7 Comments

 

AnxietyTitle

I’ve talked about my anxiety on here before. It is an issue I’ve had to revisit many, many times over the course of the past two years or so. I’ve had to do a great deal of soul searching to come up with ways to combat the intense, nearly debilitating feelings and emotions that consumed the better part of most of my days for a long while. There has been a lot of talk about mental health buzzing around the web lately and wanted to share how I’ve learned to manage my Anxiety Disorder.

There was a time when I didn’t think I could manage the anxiety and the panic attacks. I focus a lot of my blog content on physical fitness, however, there was a time that I found my anger, resentment and anxiety bubbling to the surface. There was hurt and anger I felt that was infringing on all aspects of my life. I quit exercising. I quit taking care of myself. I quit doing the things I loved. I was fragile. I was friable, delicate and uncomplicatedly vulnerable. I was not fit emotionally, mentally or spiritually. I wasn’t handling situations with grace and composure in the manner I wished I could. Everything, or so it was intimated, was unmanageable and I couldn’t rein in my emotions. In lieu of tending to my wounds, I shoved them down, where they festered and multiplied–in the form of anxiety and obsessive thinking.

Anxiety. Obsessive thinking.  A few events where someone was mean-spirited, made rancorous remarks or virulent rebuffs could send me through a cycle of hurt, anger or a vicious sequence of self-shaming thoughts swirling in my head. My reactions. My actions. Did I make the moral, upright choice? Did I speak without thinking? Did I overreact or retaliate? Did I catastrophize and make an unintentional slight into a big deal? How did my behavior affect the situation? Did I do something that made the circumstances worse? Did I screw up? What could I have done differently? Some self-reflection is good, even necessary. Yet, obsessive, over-thinking? It isn’t productive at all.

Over the past few months, I’ve learned some amazing skills to counteract the anxiety. There have been some humbling experiences that leveled my ego and while incredibly painful, it has been equally beneficial. I find it easier to admit when I’m wrong. I find it easier to forgive. I am not afraid to confront difficulties and have learn to not go straight to anger when things go wrong, as they often do. I am more empathetic to others. I make an effort to understand another person’s point of view. I discovered that I have the choice to spend time with positive people, doing positive things. I have free will. If it doesn’t work for me, I can politely decline and do something else that suits me better.

Most importantly, when the anxiety and panic set in, I have an arsenal of tools that can get me on the right footing again. I do still have anxiety on occasion, at the same time, it doesn’t have the same power it used to. I can identify it before it flattens me and do something else. I’m not perfect, nevertheless, I have peace most of the time when I employ the methods I’ve committed to.

beautiful_sunset_deck

Here’s my top 12 ways that I manage stress and anxiety:

1. Get exercise EVERY DAY!

I notice that when I get anxiety, a run or even a brisk walk will snap me out of my funk. When I am moving, my thoughts tend to get worked out and I come back with a clear head. Nothing like getting sweaty to move me out of my intense thoughts. When I am working, I try to get up and stretch at least once an hour. I take a break, get a tall glass of water and do some mild stretching.

2. Write it down.

I have a couple of things I do. I have a small notepad next to my computer that I write things down that are bothering me. I evaluate if it’s something I can change or it’s just me, being crazy. If it’s something I can change, I either fix it or I create a plan of action for later on. I recently started writing things down in ten words or less, tearing off the paper, folding it and putting it away. This was suggested to me by a friend. It’s called a God Jar or Worry Jar. When I worry, obsess or feel anxious, I write down what is bothering me, put it in a jar, close the lid and give it to God to handle. I find that once I lock my worries away, I don’t feel the need to think about them so much. It is very cathartic. Even if one isn’t religious, the process of writing down the worry, fear, anxiety and locking it away is a freeing experience!

3. Do something nice for someone else.

I find that when I am involved with helping others, I am less likely to obsess about my own life. I have started making phone calls to see how other people are doing or having lunch with an old friend. When I’m with others, I’m not so self-absorbed/focused. I’m working on getting involved with some volunteer work, which I welcome to get me out of my own head.

4. Stop it with the caffeine!

Oh my goodness! This has become a problem! I have to really be careful not drink too much coffee. I find that my mind races if I have too much coffee in the morning. I can start out with the best day ever, but if I consume too much caffeine, it wreaks havoc on my brain. I’ve taken to cups of hot herbal tea or an herbal iced tea.

5. Use the call a friend lifeline.

I have a friend that is very honest with me. She knows me well enough to know when I’m feeding her bull crap. She calls me on my stuff whenever I’m out of line. Her probity keeps me on track and her wisdom guides me when I need a dose of the frank speak. She has talked me down from many a ledge and I always know I can count on her to tell me truth, even when it isn’t what I want to hear. She is my mentor. Since she isn’t in the middle of my problems, she has objectivity and discernment about circumstances that I can’t see through in a moment. Everyone should have that one friend. Of course, my mom is that person for me too. I know I can call her and ask for advice or an ear. It also helps to have an amazing, kind and loving husband that’s always there. I am truly blessed.

6. Meditate, pray and read.

When I get up in the morning, I get grateful, just acknowledging the beauty of the gift of another amazing day. For me, I find praying when I first get up in the morning is transforming. I thank God for another amazing day ahead. It always get me thinking more positive. Then, I read. I have a book of quotes and inspirational stories. I try to read for at least a few minutes to get me on the right train of thought for the day. I read bible verses, self-help books and other daily reflections to try to center myself and feed my soul. For me, I need my time alone with my thoughts and with God. It makes me more sure-footed the rest of the day.

7. Go outside.

I work from home and I am a stay at home mom. Some days, it’s easy to stay indoors, especially when the southern California temperatures are soaring. Lately, I’ve tried to get outside to get some fresh air, take a walk or even stand quietly and appreciate the world around me. We live in an area where there are lots of birds, wild life and beautiful views. Sometimes, I have a tendency to lock myself inside, with the air conditioning on and forget about the natural beauty around me. At times, it’s an effort to get outside, but I never regret it!

8. Breathe in, breathe out.

I find that when I am stressed out, my whole body is tense and my breath is shallow. When I notice this, I take a deep breath in, from my diaphragm and slowly let it out, focusing on releasing the stress and tension in my whole body. I instantly feel better. If I don’t feel better instantly, I do it again. I never realized previously that one can forget to breathe. Now, when that anxiety rears its ugly head, I ask myself, “Are you breathing?” It’s amazing how shallow my breathing usually is in those moments. It’s a wonder that I am not turning blue from a lack of oxygen.

9. Focus on the solutions, not the problems. Change the perspective.

There are days I can’t get whatever is bothering me out of my head. On those days, I give the problem, irritation, stress, worry or whatever it is some attention. I contemplate the issue and try to search for an answer. Is there an answer? Then, do it! Is there no answer? Then, I let it go! Is there a lesson to be learned? Then, grab onto it!

10. Break tasks into manageable chunks. Don’t get caught up in the enormity of the task.

I used to let myself get so overwhelmed with the number of tasks on my to do list. I would obsess over everything that needed to get done. It was paralyzing! I would sometimes get so spun out of control that I couldn’t do anything. Now, I take a look at my list and prioritize. I try to check off little things on my list that I’ve been putting off. It is often the little tasks that get me so worked up and if I just do them, all seems right with the world again. I’ve stopped making enormous lists that can’t be humanly be accomplished in one day. If I have a long list, I pick a few that I commit to doing and leave the others for another day.

JUST DO SOMETHING! I think that one of the most difficult thing is to just get started some days. On those days, I pick one small thing that can be done quickly and give me instant gratification. Before I know it, that task is done and I can move on to the next thing. When I think too much, I always get myself into trouble.

11. Stop taking myself so seriously. Give myself a break.

Very few things in life are worth the time and anxiety I give to them. I am a fallible human. I make mistakes—occasionally great big, unfixable blunders, but more often smallish, fixable ones that don’t alter the course of the universe. If I wrong someone, I promptly accept responsibility once I realize it and genuinely make my apology. If it is a situation that can’t be changed, I have to acknowledge it, try to learn from it and expeditiously move on. I have to forgive myself for being human. I have to see the lessons in life and make changes within myself—not harbor the mistake forever.

12. Give others a break.

I have to watch myself and make sure I’m not being critical of others. It’s easy to do—being critical. People make mistakes. It is difficult when they don’t own them and lash out when I know I’ve done nothing wrong. I have to remember that I can be like that and have been in the past. I need to forgive others, even when that forgiveness is not sought by another. I don’t have the right to judge. I don’t know what is going on with them and I am not blameless.

I’ve had to recognize that some people are just down-right mean. Who can know why? Maybe they were mistreated as a child. Maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they feel vulnerable and fearful. Maybe there is no reason at all. For my purposes, it doesn’t much matter. I’m going to come across these individuals, nonetheless, the cycle stops with me. I don’t have to replicate the bad behavior. I can forgive and have compassion. Forgiveness and compassion release me from the grips of the negative.

I’ve had to learn to let go of how I perceive I’ve been wronged. It is like a cancer and it eats away at my soul. Holding on to anger and resentment is something I’m learning more and more. Being bitter solves nothing.

…

So, that’s how I’ve learned to manage my anxiety and panic attacks. It has been an epic journey and I am certain I’ll be revisiting this topic many, many times. As long as I am an imperfect human (forever), I’ll have difficulties to overcome. At least now, I have some strategies to keep me moving towards a more positive direction. I’ll likely never be “cured” of anxiety, nonetheless, it doesn’t have to dominate my life.

Remember to be kind to one another and to yourselves!

How do you manage your stress? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Filed Under: Health, Mental Health

Life is Good: 40th Birthday

July 1, 2013 by Laura Lohr 10 Comments

Eric and Laura

Last week was my 40th birthday. I turned the big 4-0. I feel like a rebellious teenager, full of dreams and ideas, yet not quite old enough to be responsible for making all these grown-up decisions. How did I get to be 40 so quickly? I had the best time in my 30’s and I don’t mind being 40. The fine lines and wrinkles. All of it, I wear proudly. It’s been an awesome ride and I look forward to another 60 or so years of awesome, no matter how wrinkly I become.

Eric and Laura
I was in tears most of the day, as so much love, birthday wishes and heartfelt words came pouring in by phone, e-mail and Facebook. I felt so loved! I have so much gratitude for the amazing family and friends that I have that embrace me and love me for who I am. I am so incredibly blessed! No matter what, I know where I stand with these incredible people that surround us. What did I do to deserve all the love and friendship? My heart smiles. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Disney, Family, Friends, Health, Holiday Cheer, Kid Stuff, Laura, Marriage, Mental Health, Reviews Tagged With: 40th Birthday, Anniversary, family, friends, Love, Monsters University, Stone Brewery

The Urge to Purge: Project 2013

March 12, 2013 by Laura Lohr 11 Comments

 DSC_3996

I have to admit. 2012 was a difficult year in a lot of respects. I found myself feeling very overwhelmed, disorganized and paralyzed to begin any project because I did not know where to start. It was October when I finally sought help and discovered I was suffering from generalized anxiety . It has not been an easy path and certainly there has been bumps in the road, nevertheless I have learned a tremendous amount about myself and some of the sources of my anxiety.

Here I am some five months later and I am finding it much easier to give myself a break and silence my inner critic. Instead of the intense feelings that everything has to be perfect, I am realizing that nothing has to be perfect. That has given me the freedom to start somewhere. The first place I started was the massive stockpile of items in our donate space. It took a few hours to fill up the car (multiple times) and to drop the items off at the charity of our choosing, nonetheless we now have space to add more items to purge.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Health, Home Improvement, Mental Health, Project Lighten Up Tagged With: Clean Up, Donating to Charity, Home Improvement, Kitchen Organization, Organization, Organizing, Project Lighten Up, Tidying Up

The Willpower Instinct #BHBC #Review

January 10, 2013 by Laura Lohr Leave a Comment

willpowerinstinctuscover

I was recently provided the opportunity to read The Willpower Instinct by Dr. Kelly McGonigal. I have to say it was perfect timing, with the new year and various resolutions creeping up on me (PLUS, being sick for the past couple weeks and having some free time to lay around). I was super excited to get some guidance with some of those nagging resolutions for 2013, many that I carried with me through 2012. This year is my lucky year!

The author, Kelly McGonigal, PhD. is a professor at prestigious Stanford University and teaches a class entitled, “The Science of Willpower.” What I loved about this book is that Dr. McGonigal outlined this book as a professor would outline a course syllabus—in a logical, methodological way. The book does a fantastic job explaining the chemistry of the brain, scientific evidence and what exactly keeps us from reaching our all-elusive goals, year after year, no matter how badly we want to achieve them. She explains that much of our beliefs about willpower actually work to sabotage us from accomplishing what we set out to do.

I consumed this book from cover to cover, intrigued by what Dr. McGonigal had to say on the subject of willpower. I learned a lot about myself and why sometimes my strongest desires to meet goals are foiled by overwhelming desires to do what I wanted in the moment, instead of doing what would support my success. We really can take control of our lives, if we truly understand our biological functions, mental traps, and social factors that influence our self-control.

One of the things I found most fascinating, was Dr. McGonigal’s explanation of why we put our goals off until tomorrow. We, according to research, have an inherent belief that our future self will be more virtuous than our present self. She explains that we are hard-wired to prefer immediate gratification in many instances:

When we contemplate the future, our imaginations fail us in predictable ways. Far-off rewards seem less compelling, so we choose immediate gratification. We fail to predict how we will be tempted or distracted, so we fail to protect ourselves from abandoning goals. To make wiser decisions, we need to better understand and support our future selves.

I loved this book. The author speaks in easy to understand terms. She is witty and smart. I enjoyed it through and through. I found myself identifying with many of the scenarios she described in the book. I do believe that this book will be my handbook for success in the year 2013!

Disclaimer: This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own. I was compensated for my review, and received a copy of The Willpower Instinct, HOWEVER, I only recommend products and/or services I personally believe in.

Filed Under: BlogHer, BlogHer Book Club, Books, Health, Holiday Cheer, Mental Health, Reviews Tagged With: 2013, BlogHer Book Club, BlogHer Book Review, Books, Goals, Kelly McGonigal, PhD., Success, The Willpower Instinct, Willpower

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About Laura:

Wife, mom, runner, geek, lifestyle blogger, fitness badass, world traveler, social media lover. San Diego transplant, living in Temecula's wine country.

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2020 was weird. There were good times and bad. I'm 2020 was weird. There were good times and bad. I'm glad that we made it through. I am looking forward to starting fresh in 2021. I have a lot of #goals for #2021. Many are recycled from last year's #visionboard, but that's okay. I have my canceled #marathon coming up in May. I'll finally apply to #lawschool and follow my dreams, wherever they take me.  Happy new year!
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25 days until inauguration. We're repurposing our 25 days until inauguration. We're repurposing our countdown counter.
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#bidenmytime #inauguration #hope #vote2020 #vote #bidenharris2020 #bidenharris
I finished the #sandiegoholidayhalf yesterday. It I finished the #sandiegoholidayhalf yesterday. It was quite an accomplishment! Virtual racing isn't the same as racing pre covid. Nonetheless, I'm getting back to some consistent running and trying to get to a healthy place.

For Christmas, hubby's car needed to be replaced. We bought a #minicooper last week and he's over the moon. The green is amazing! I love how it stands out! He met me at the finish to drive me back to the start. What a fun car!
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I love our tree this year. It's just lovely. We go I love our tree this year. It's just lovely. We got ourselves a new fake tree this year and I'm absolutely in love with it.
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#christmas #seasonsgreetings #holiday #holidayseason #holidays #holidaydecor #christmascheer #christmastree
Time is doing things to my face, and that's okay. Time is doing things to my face, and that's okay. I finally got my hair done for the first time in 2020. I had previously got a covid cut in the backyard several months back, but this was the first time having a professional do my hair ALL. YEAR. I felt so good, I came home and put my pajamas on. 😂 It's been a really hard year, but I have grown so much this year and I'm not just talking about my pants size. 😂 Life is good.
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This is where it all started. This was where our f This is where it all started. This was where our first date happened. More than a quarter of a century ago, Eric asked me on a date and took me to the restaurant on the end of this pier. As it happened, my mom ended up joining us. This was a fortuitous twist, as Eric forgot his wallet, and I didn't have any money, as a starving college student.

I started my 5 mile run at that same pier. I smiled to myself, remembering simpler times that, at the time, didn't seem so simple. I breathed in the fresh air and hung on to these memories. I am so grateful for the blind date that worked out to be our love story.
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It's feeling festive around here. I spotted this b It's feeling festive around here. I spotted this beautiful thing in the park on my run. It's beginning to look more like Christmas and my running soul is enjoying every single sighting of Christmas joy. It seems like there's a lot of people that are hurting right now, in the community. We're going to have to work together to spread joy this year and help fill those needs that families have this year. How can I be of service today?
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