We are days, perhaps months into the dreaded terrible two’s, in spite of Allie not quite being two yet (November 3rd is her big day).
I am more relaxed as a mom in some ways and more of a control freak in others than I had previously imagined I would be. I let her experience more than I imagined I would, without sucking the fun out of it, and things like changing poopy diapers are less traumatic than I thought they would be. Maybe I am desensitized now. Maybe it is deeper than that.
The typical day at the grocery store is the perfect illustration of what my life since having a child is about. I decided to let Allie push the little kid cart they had; you know, let her have the experience—not one of my best thought out choices. Much to my chagrin, she thought ramming the cart into the Starbucks counter in Von’s was really darn cute. I could tell by the looks on the faces of nearby adults they were none too impressed. I was more than a little disconcerted when she knocked 10 or so apples off the meticulously stacked pile, while the produce guy was standing there trying to finish the task. It was not one of my proudest parenting moments when two aisles over I pulled my cart over to the right so someone could get by and several boxes of instant rice came flying off the shelf.
There are precious moments that melt the heart and remind me of why a child’s love is the most valuable commodity in the universe. I love the sweet kiss on the check before she gives before she goes to bed. I love the big hugs and the ohhhhh’s and ahhhhh’s when she is giving them. I love when she walks up to me and hugs me just because. I love the child wonder when she discovers something new. I love her excitement each and every time we read a book to her, even if I have already read it to her a million times TODAY. I love when we say, “ALLIE CAT MEOW,” and she says, “MEEEEEOOOOWWW,” in her mouse-like voice. It brightens my day when she wakes up from her nap and her first words are, “MOMMY!” One of my favorite things is hearing, “love you Mommy.” When I experience these things, all seems so right with the world.
I love that each night before I close my eyes to sleep, all the thoughts of the day and all the cute moments make the annoying, monotonous, and mundane tasks I do over and over (like putting books back on the shelf, putting toys in the box, telling her “NOOO, you may not play with the toilet brush!” and “Please stop pulling the cat’s tail!”) completely worth it. It makes me feel like the luckiest person in the whole world and my heart bursts into a million pieces!